Captain’s Blog, Stardate 08272021.4

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Our ability to undertake missions has been adversely affected by the dense ionized nebula our ship finds itself in. (Wildfire smoke has drastically reduced the air quality) Additionally, it has been difficult to conduct away missions when the interstellar radiation (the temperature) reaches above 90 millirems (degrees Fahrenheit). Still, with some shift adjustments, we’ve been able to continue to provide limited assistance to the quadrant.

During my time near Starfleet headquarters (downtown), I found myself once again reflecting on whether or not it was acceptable to be trans and bisexual. Most major religious text and dogma generally look at being non-heterosexual and trans as being a sin. When I spoke to Captain Raymond regarding the matter previously, he brought up an example of a devout Bajoran (Catholic) he met that identified as homosexual but chose not to act on it. His position was that the act was sinful but not the feelings. Essentially, the guy, by not acting on his feelings, was giving up everything for Christ and in doing so, Christ would also not hold back on him when his time came. The Catholic guy’s abstinence is admirable but I’m inclined to believe that the sacrifice is unnecessary.

When I look at most religious texts, the key underlying theme is love. God is love and our main purpose seems to be to love God(s) and each other. That is the greatest commandment in the bible. The root of all sin seems to be the over indulgence in self, especially when it is detrimental to others. The bible talks about Satan having been cast down because of his pride. I also believe that the concept of Jesus is about acknowledging ones faults, being humble, and trying to help one another. Taken as a whole, I believe following these underlying precepts is where the Truth is, whether you get there via Christianity, humanism or another belief system. I bring all this up because I believe trying to be trans and/or non-heterosexual doesn’t necessarily stop one from following these truths but could potentially hinder if not careful.

I think it can be easy to become overly indulgent when it comes to sex in general. I’ve always felt like because society and most of religion rejects the LGBTQ+, that LGBTQ+ individuals tend to reject the usual societal conventions and therefore are more open to being wildly indulgent and undertaking risky sex practices. It’s..tricky..I do believe one should enjoy their body and their life. I think the problem happens when your focus becomes more about pleasing yourself, being narcissistic, and not partaking in activities that make the world a better place. When your sexual identity and preference takes up more time and energy than doing what’s right, I think that’s when its an issue. I feel like if I can become a better person because I am trans and expressing my orientation, that I at least can make a compelling argument when I am being judged.

An interesting argument against being trans that Captain Raymond made was that presenting as non-cis (being gay, trans etc) was that it makes others feel uncomfortable and therefore it is a prosocial and considerate thing to not express being LGBTQ+ around others. Part of me wants to say, “Well suck it up buttercup cuz I’m queer and I’m here”. It’s a case of who should defer to whom? I think that the onus falls on those that present themselves as loving individuals. The quadrant is full of diverse species’ and cultures. I’m inclined to believe that love, true love, isn’t about showing compassion when its easy but precisely when its hard. Acceptance is at the root of many religious traditions which state that one should love thy enemy (or anyone different than you). All fall short of being perfect and therefore shouldn’t be quick to judge.

I have encountered many heterosexual captains that have vowed support for the LGBT. One scenario I wonder about is if they would put their own existence on the line before God(s). Would they say, “God, if LGBT folks cant be in heaven, I don’t want to be either”. Personally, I’m just happy to be tolerated and don’t expect that sort of vow from anyone but I would be very curious. I’ll have to ask Captain Raymond about this as he is a progressive christian in spite of playing devil’s advocate for me during some of our conversations.

Speaking of the devil, the ex, General Brandi of the Klingons contacted me via subspace. I regularly jam the Klingons transmissions but every so often something gets through. She is going through her usual ketracel white (meth) induced emotional volatility. I get a transmission from Brandi stating that she’s gonna commit Hegh’bat (suicide) and I get a cashapp notification that she sent me 2000 credits (dollars). Of course, all of it is just an attempt to grab my attention, she knows I wouldn’t accept it under those pretenses despite how much I could use it.

I’ve tried to follow my principals and offer advice but I don’t think she is looking to truly change, instead, it seems she’s looking for someone to reassure and condone her rather destructive behavior/decisions. If I really let loose about what I really thought about her, I’d probably drive her to actually committing Hegh’bat. I’ve learned to show restraint in spite of how tempting it is for me to really go in on her. Part of my heart still needs to learn to be more loving and uplifting. Still, I’m going to put more measures in place to avoid all contact and focus on my duties as a Starfleet officer.

As I look ahead, I have a rendezvous with Captain Godwin on Sunday after my departure from the Unitarian outpost in the Arden sector. He is gonna take me around on his motorcycle!! I’m tempted to wear my leather pants hahaha. I’ve never rode on one. Part of me wishes it was Captain Eric but..he always finds a way to lash out on me for no reason. He could be so fun, so insightful…anyways. Time to set course for my next adventure.