To my beloved cadets: Tino, Noelle and Bella
If you’re reading or listening to this, I’m dead (probably). I know you guys have said you’d read the blog when I passed away. I hope the posts up to this point have gave you some insight into who I was, reminded you of our times together and help guide you when you feel lost. You should know by now that I was not afraid of death. To quote Marie Antoinette, “Courage! I have shown it for years; think you I shall lose it at the moment when my sufferings are to end?”
As I look back, I want to say sorry. I wish I could’ve been a better parent. I am tempted to say I did that best I could but I think we all know that wasn’t always the case. I hope the good outweighed the bad. I have many regrets about how things unfolded but at least for now, I have feel that you guys turned out well in spite of my shortcomings. For that, I am fucken proud of you. Please learn from my mistakes and successes so that your kid (or cat) has a better childhood than you had to endure.
I ask that you don’t get too caught up in mourning me. I think I will continue on in some form. I don’t want to see you sad all the time, that’s depressing and probably putting a damper on my afterlife! Remember our good times. And don’t start with the “oh I wish she was here to talk to or hug”. You had your chance!!!
I know at least one of you have your doubts about the afterlife, spirituality or whatever. Maybe this is it. I can’t say for sure. What I can say with a lot more certainty is that exploring the near infinite possibilities of existence will not only enrich your own understanding of yourself, but will give you a deeper insight about those around you. The difference between you, other people and even other objects is not as big as you may think. Objectively, underneath it all, we’re all made of the same stuff. And whatever that stuff is has funny ways of being connected. Throughout time, inventors came to new insights by linking things which seemed completely unrelated. Percy Spencer’s melted chocolate bar in his pants led to microwave ovens!
As I wrap up, I want you to know that I love you, always and forever. If at all possible, I will be there when you need me. I will listen to your prayers. I will celebrate all your successes and be there for you during your worst moments. Maybe we can even sing together! Lastly, remember to love and help each other. We’ll meet again…don’t where, don’t know when…
