
A bit after coming home from the movies and having a great time, I decided to play what I call the mirror game. At first, he didn’t notice me copying him. Once he noticed, he then progressed to seeing it as a form of connection as we were mimicking each other in unison. At one point he even quipped to himself that I was unique.
As time went by, he tried to sabotage the game by altering his breathing and eye movement. He also started to make some projections about me and discuss his insecurities regarding not being fun. He also began to worry that his horoscope was coming true despite the fact that I was not becoming upset with him but instead he was becoming upset at me. He also conveyed to me that he was tired.
Once Tino, (my son) came in to ask about when dinner was going to be served. Bill’s focus shifted over to pragmatism. He began to ask me to quit the game. When he seen I wasn’t relenting, he eventually decided to undertake the task at hand. He began to express frustration due to being fatigued. He also appeared to be annoyed that I was continuing the game once he decided to start washing the dishes.
For him, he felt like the task should take precedence over any sort of what he perceived as me annoying him or some other form of game. He began to become aggressive and forcefully tried to go on obstruct the mimicking from continuing. Once the glass broke, he became visibly upset even more so.

He sat in exasperation and started to once again project the future that his horoscope had stated which was that there was going to be a fight. He then seemed fixated on the spilled mess and kept focusing on broken glass and the need for his glasses. Given what appeared to be rising frustration, I ended the game.
While copying his behaviors I have a few observations about how it felt. At first, I felt very connected. I seen it as an opportunity to be with him in a very fundamental way. The feeling of closeness and playfulness led me to feeling aroused. I had hoped that he was feeling the same and at first it seemed he was at least connecting emotionally with me.
His attempts to sabotage me were cute at first because he was finally being playful with me…. something he usually isn’t. One thing I came to feel about mimicking his natural breathing and blinking is that it isn’t very relaxed but carries a hint of anxiety and heaviness with just being.
I noticed I was turned off once he started projecting insecurities about him not being fun. I became more aware that he was indeed not being playful. I also hated that he started to worry about his horoscope instead of having more levity. Once Tino came in and asked for the dinner. I figured that he would eventually get up and go to the kitchen.
I wasn’t sure how long I was going to continue. I knew we had to start working on dinner because it was getting pretty late. I decided to continue because I was curious about how he’d handle it…if he’d nicely ask me to make dinner or if he’d quietly go about it himself or if he’d try to convince me.
I was not thrilled with his aggressive cleaning of the pots or how he lets himself get agitated over relatively small things especially if he’s even slightly tired or hungry. I did my best to contain any emotions once i broke character that way his responses told me more about him.
A bit later upon further reflection, i think I should have asked his consent as to playing. I also could see how it could be irritating to some… though I had hoped that my partner had seen it more like I had hoped…I hoped he saw a reflection of himself, that he used his power over us in a way that bonded us closer.. instead it magnified a bit of the disconnect we have in terms of our relationship and how we go about things.
