I once read that living with people is like jazz. It’s improvised, messy, offbeat, and sometimes unexpectedly beautiful. I think that living with the crew can be described in much the same way. For the last 16 years of my life, I have watched my little cadets grow as people and have fostered unique relationships with each of them. Just when I think we’ve settled into a rhythm, an unexpected note is played.
Early this morning my second oldest came into my room and locked the door . I was still sleeping in since its a Saturday. Noah came and stated, “𝓘 𝓰𝓮𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓪 𝓰𝓾𝓻𝓵 𝓷𝓸𝔀👅” (Bella wrote that) Actually Noah said, “I think I’m trans”. Despite a recent wearing of thigh highs I didn’t think Noah would want to pursue full transition. If it isn’t obvious, of course I accepted the decision. We talked about what the process of transition entails, including hormones, name change, being out at school and clothing. I asked if she was going to announce it to the family and she said, “They’ll figure it out eventually”. Bella speculated to me that this was the case when the socks happened. Bella would say she knew sooner but I don’t know for certain. They haven’t decided on a name change and said to still use he/him in person for now . I asked if I could talk about this in the blog and received permission.
I have somewhat mixed feelings about it. The Federation has taken an especially harsh stance on trans individuals so I naturally worry about what sort of ramifications this could have in the future. Being trans in general makes life harder in almost all aspects and comes with some unique challenges but I hope this makes her happier. The big positive within the family is that I think this will help Bella and Noah get along; the biggest grudge in the family.
Until very recently, I liked Isabella for officer Tino. As all couples do, they’d argue but end of the day they’d make up. I won’t discuss the incident here since I don’t have permission but long story short there was a big argument. I didn’t want them talking anymore. We had a long conversation and later he emerged from his room, hugged me and had tears in his eyes. Despite several reservations, I decided to back off from my position. End of the day, I just want him to find his happiness and if Isabella is a major part of that, she’s okay by me. It’ll take time for us to be on good terms again but I remain hopeful.
Officer Bella has continued to deeply devote herself to theater (that and Dandy’s world 🙄) She works hard at school and theater but that has come at the expense of chores. In the past I let the place get out of control but never again. We’re still close but I’ve seen her become more independent of me. Teens do that sort of thing so its not unexpected.
As for myself, things are mostly the same. I’ve continued to spend a lot of my free time learning various subjects and watching anime with the kids. I have also been working on my emotions and thoughts. I’ll dive into that in my next counselor Troi session. At work, I feel like I am starting to actually become skilled at interacting with clients. I’m not naturally charismatic but I try to make up for it by being knowledgeable and caring as possible. It helps working with some really gifted clinicians. The most difficult part of my work is that there isn’t nearly enough resources to help those that are in genuine need. I sometimes wish I was rich because I would know exactly who needs help, who is willing to do their part and how much they’d need to turn things around
This one is one of my favorite nature adventures. The anchor trip is probably the best one but this one was really cool too because there is absolutely no one around and when I wasn’t breathing like I am in the video, its super quiet. Sometimes I wish just to wonder without time limits and watch Bella go have fun. The car rides to and from the trips are also fun. Lots of talking, lots of looking at scenery and lots of singing together. I am not sure I even mention it here in the blog but if you were around me enough, you’d find me singing some tunes. 0% singing ability, 100% heart!