Captain’s Log, Supplemental

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I decided to visit Starfleet Academy (my old uni) on a whim. A lot of memories come to mind when I’m here, mostly good. Being accepted into Starfleet was always a hope of mine growing up. Having the love of my life with me was a dream come true. When I look back on those memories, I think about the times we would go study in the library together, how we would bring lunch for each other, and how we got to cross the stage holding hands. We were so optimistic for the future back then. Had we known at the time that she’d be dead 8 years later and that none of our dreams came true, I wonder what we would have done differently

One thing I always try to be mindful of when thinking about how changing the timeline would impact the future is the unintended negative impacts such a thing would cause. If Q could teleport me back in time, what happens to my kids as they are? Do they cease to exist or would they carry on in this timeline just without me. Either result would be incredibly selfish. Not to mention all the people I’ve helped from then on to now; I probably wouldn’t have encountered most of the people I’ve helped change for the better. And to go back to the question, what do I do differently assuming I could freeze this timeline to take an alternate course of action

I guess in an ideal universe, I would be able to bring that Michelle to this future so she could at least watch her kids grow up. Aside from trying to bring her to the future, I wouldn’t change much just to not ruin how the kids came out. She didn’t accept me being trans. I don’t think that I would’ve stayed with her. We were very good friends however and I probably would try to have her as a roommate because if there was one person I could trust in this world,it was her.

I spent so much time with Michelle I’m not used to socializing with other people. Took for granted how easy it was for me to talk with her. She was an intellectual peer, had a lot of the same interests and I knew I could count on her when things were serious. She wasn’t without her faults but I do wish I could walk with her out here and have a long conversation about everything that has happened and then have her spend time with the family.

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