Captain’s Log, Stardate 07052021.6:

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Our ship rendezvoused with the USS Playworld near the Yol expanse (county) for an urgent meeting with Vice Admiral Robertson. From there, I was briefed about the need to retrieve an experimental nucleogenic weapon being developed by the Cardassians that could change the balance of power in the region.

My crew and I were given the coordinates to a location believed to house the weapon. As we took our shuttlecraft down to the nearby planet of Bryce 2 (park), the shuttlecraft came under heavy weapons fire and we had to evacuate via the escapes pods

Upon landing on the surface, the crew of the ship that fired upon us captured my first officer and imprisoned her. I set out to free her, get the weapon and leave the planet.

A local inhabitant helped me disable the holding cell officer Bella was in. The three of us went to the coordinates provided by the vice admiral via a speeder bike. We managed to take the device and began to flee the scene when the local fell behind. Bella and I had to circle back around for the girl.

We managed to escape from the Cardassians and returned to our ship. The balance of power in the quadrant remains firmly tilted towards the Federation, for now.

Back on the ship (at home), I ended up matching with someone on the intergalactic dating exchange and ended up having a bit of a negative interaction. I matched up with some guy that had scant profile information but seemed cute enough. He sent me his phone number and he called me up. After talking less than 5 minutes, he was pushing to meet. He asked what outpost (store) I was near and I was vague. He got frustrated with me for being vague and lashed out, saying that my paranoia wasn’t attractive.

For a moment, I began to second guess myself. I asked the opinion of other captains on Starfleet media (twitter) and the resounding consensus was that I was right in being cautious and dodged a bullet. Although I was reassured by the responses, I couldn’t help but question my own judgement. His scant profile information should’ve been a red flag in of itself. The fact that he pressed me to be more specific when I wasn’t ready should’ve caused my instincts to be kick in and be more assertive. I think lately I’ve been a bit too liberal in terms of who I’ve swiped towards just so I could meet someone in person. I’ve grown weary of long distance attempts I’ve tried with Eric, Greg and a couple others on and off. Plus, a crew compliment of 4 AND being Trill (trans), my dating options are limited.

Too often, it seems that us Trill are treated like we’re some sort of sexual frontier; a means to satisfy a curiosity or fetish. Even here in the 24th century, we’re usually portrayed as some sort of deviants living on the edges of society or too often, as a deranged villian. If there is a mainstream movie that portrays the Trill as the main hero, I sure as heck haven’t seen it. I guess what bothers me too is that to some extent, some of the Trill I have encountered do in fact relish their role as objects of desire. They even emphasize their hypersexuality. Yet, I don’t judge them. Early on, I was a lot more sexually provocative just so I could feel validated by others. It’s nice to feel wanted.

Most of my life, I’ve felt invisible and unable to fully express myself. Still, I am a full-fleshed out person that craves intellectual stimulation, emotional intimacy, a spiritual connection in addition to sex. Moreover, I have 3 subordinates under my charge. I would love to have someone I trust being around them. I so very much long for the full family experience. I suppose that is what I thought it could be with General Brandi. I even put up with Captain Eric’s lies and shenanigans for much longer than I should’ve. I feel destined to be alone and it saddens me. I’m trying to remain optimistic and count my blessings. This crew needs me to lead them confidently into the future and that I shall.