A more extemporaneous entry
It’s been a while since I’ve last written here. I’ve been meaning to write. At least several times I’ve thought to myself today I’m going to write and then I don’t. Well I finally made it here. I have so much to say and not a lot.
I guess for the moment I want to sort of bookmark where I am in my life so that way if things change at least I know where I’ve been. I suppose I should start with the kids, they’re on my mind a lot. Tino confessed to me that he no longer feels like he can give his all in a relationship… he’s been dating a lot of girls of late but I’m not really confident that he has found the one yet. He has managed to keep up in school but I don’t really feel like the academic route is for him.
Not much happens with Noah. He’s such a great kid, he just goes and kick ass in school and comes home, watches anime , plays video games and helps out sometimes with cooking.
Bella has told me that she wants to follow in my footsteps and study science. Funny thing is my major and my work is in Psychology but I spend a lot of my free time trying to learn about and theorize about science. I think she sees the passion that happens when I come up with a really cool theory or come to a new understanding.
As for myself, I still enjoy certain aspects about working at Starbase 701 but there is increasing levels of bureaucratic red tape that have crept into the job that have made me less compelled to stick around for the long haul.
Outside of work, I’ve started to get back out into nature although I’m sort of stuck this week due to astrometric interference. Being in nature makes me have a sense of freedom I don’t usually feel. Unfortunately, I usually carry a sort of intensity with me everywhere I go…
Well.. that isn’t necessarily true but it’s usually how I end up coming off to people despite how I feel inside. I wish I could express myself the way I do to God with everyone. In some ways, it’s impossible for me to be fully authentic because the way I interact with God would probably seem peculiar to someone who lacks the context as to why I think, feel, and believe the the way I do. Coupled with my serious disposition and relatively slow reaction time, I feel like that makes me not very relatable or likable.
I still haven’t jumped into another relationship since Bill. I miss having that everyday adult to talk to sometimes and fun adult time but I’m not sure where they would fit in my life right now. I’m trying to just stay focused on being the best me and appreciating what I have as opposed to looking for what I don’t.
