Captain’s Log, Stardate 07262021.2

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The ship was deployed to the distant Sonomas system in order to coordinate with Starfleet Medical regarding a routine cosmic procedure. (meet with my surgeon about breast augmentation.)

I could’ve had this procedure done a lot sooner but I had tried to give the estrogen time to do its work. Plus, I tried to be accepting of the fact that I didn’t “need” bigger breast. Still, I hadn’t seen the development I was hoping for and started to hate what I had. Once I started to continuously feel inadequate, I decided that I should go for it. I have gone back and forth so many times in my mind regarding whether I should or shouldn’t. And really it isn’t necessarily about bigger but just having a more realistic female appearance. Although I had the option to go big, I am basically getting an augmentation (450cc implant) that would put me at a low C cup (currently an A). Given that the decision is made, now I wait until an opening that is estimated to be in October but could happen sooner. I’m excited to see the eventual outcome. Once I was done at Starfleet Medical, I decided to visit Captain Gandozer.

Captain Gandozer’s ship was docked in the nearby Sanjo star cluster. This was the first time I met someone from the United Commerce Coalition (UCC). The captain and his first officer (Linda) were very hospitable to me, something I very much appreciated. It’s always an interesting experience meeting someone from online. One starts to make certain assumptions about a person based on how they respond via text. Usually, what I have found is that there is always a bit of variation between how one is online and in person. I’d say that I expected the captain to be a bit more playful. Nonetheless, I did enjoy the captain’s insights on various matters. Talking about myself, I felt rather vulnerable. Later, I seen Gandozer vulnerable himself when his medications wore off and he had visible cognitive decline; the difference was especially jarring. Linda told me that happens when he doesn’t take his medication on time. Linda seems like an exceptional first officer. She spent her time just off to the side during my conversation with Gandozer making various items for friends and family. As I departed, she provided me with a lovely assortment of soaps and candy.

The next few star dates were rather uneventful with most of the crew off in the Bearva star system (summer camp). Eventually, the mission was completed and I went to retrieve my crew. My crew was filled with glee about their experiences. I felt glad that I could provide valuable training for my officers. The next star date, under orders from Starfleet, we set course for the Sapca nebula. While in the nebula, our ship rescued three Caitians that were at risk of dying in the nebula.

Chris
Shadow
Suki

My officers were happy to have new crewman aboard the ship. I’ve been hesitant to bring aboard other crew on the ship given that this Miranda class vessel (the apartment) is less than ideal given the crew compliment. Still, I went ahead and brought aboard the Caitians to give the crew something to focus on other than the holodeck (computer). I’ve been a bit lax in making sure they are reading and playing outside. I want the crew to have a variety of activities that they undertake… Aside from that, I’ve been having a variety of conversations over subspace (internet chat).

For awhile now, I haven’t had a go-to friend. I believe that has changed with the advent of Commander Alex. Though they are far from Federation space, I’ve felt connected with Alex. They’ve been smart, witty, empathetic and quite generous with their time. They couldn’t have come at a better time for me as I’ve moved away from trying to have a relationship to just having good friendships. At this point, as I’ve stated before, I probably shouldn’t even be in a relationship. Although I miss adult companionship, I am generally content with the freedom I have. Having good friendships can allow me to fulfill my emotional and social needs just enough so I can focus on my bigger goals. If Michelle were around, she’d probably be heartened that I am finally having a spark of ambition. I could almost hear her saying, “It’s about time! Stop writing about it and do something about it”. Additionally, I can’t close this without noting the other budding friendship. The one with whoever is interacting with me. You’re freaking amazing, er, most of the time.

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