Troi: Christeana, its good to see you!
Me: Really?
Troi: Yeah, my shuttle craft payment is almost due and now I don’t have to worry about that payment since our session will help pay for it and then some!
Me: After I’m done talking with you you’ll wish that you found another way to pay for it
Troi: You’re probably right. Anyways how can I help you?
Me: Oh I just wanted to talk about my new relationship
Troi: Talk about anything u want as long as you’re paying by the hour that’s fine by me!
Me: Right…so I met someone new, his name is Xander.
Troi: That’s such an odd name.
Me: Its his preferred blogtrek name.
Troi: Nowadays everyone has preferred names, genders and even pronouns. I wonder if one day there’ll be preferred species?
Me: Hey this isn’t your therapy session, we’re not going to elaborate on that!
Troi: Fair enough. So how is he?
Me: So far so good. At least for the moment there doesn’t seem to be any red flags and not even any yellow flags. He’s actually been really sweet, genuine and pleasant to be around.
Troi: That sounds good.
Me: There’s probably a few things that I’m keeping a watch of but they’re so minor that at this point it’s nitpicking.
Troi: Well no one’s perfect, at least on this dimensional plane. If you’re ever single again, I can introduce you to a hexagonal energy creature that can become everything you’re looking for in a partner.
Me: I’ll…keep you posted. Anyways, Xander seems really smitten with me which I’m really glad about.
Troi: And how do you feel about him?
Troi: That’s only natural. You’ve had several promising interactions with guys recently.
Me: I hate having to be on guard at all. I just want someone I can power down my shields with. I don’t know if I could ever fully cancel yellow alert around another captain.
Troi: Trust takes time. Things are still early. Remain cautiously optimistic and trust your instincts.
Me: Yeah I guess so. I think it’s just that there hasn’t been anything that has happened that could even cause conflict yet. Sometimes people can become quite different once something doesn’t go their way or you have a difference of opinion.
Troi: That can go both ways. From what you told me of your past, you don’t particularly have a high frustration tolerance.
Me: Yeah…I know. I usually can mask it at work and during more casual interactions but the crew has seen me at my worse. I think I’ve improved substantially but I know there’s always more to work on. I guess I’m wondering if he can actually deal with me when I’m not the smart, playful captain that he has got to know.
The crew doesn’t always adhere to Starfleet regulations either. I still have insufficient information on how he’d respond to them when they’re being insubordinate.
Troi: I think you told me that he was very educated and worked with kids before. Do you think that will help mitigate any future issue?
Me: It should…Problem is that he lives like 100 parsecs away from my ship. I can’t see him daily unless he moved nearby..something that isn’t feasible at the moment due to his posting requiring him to stay aboard for at least a year, if not more. It’s easy to swing by for a day or long weekend. It’s quite another to do the daily grind.
Me: I just hope that I also have my nature where it needs to be, I know I can be difficult.
Troi: When things happen, which they will, make sure to monitor your breathing, your body language and be very careful with what you say. Be solution focused and remember to attack the problem, not the person. Do not assume malice and if you find yourself getting escalated, maybe it would be beneficial for you to temporarily leave the situation until the emotions have settled down.
Me: Yeah…
Troi: Is there anything else you’d like to discuss?
Me: Yes, so when I..
Troi: Sorry time is up.
Me: Why did you ask?
Troi: I was just curious.
Me: I can tell you more about it right now.
Troi: Not interested anymore. I gotta go but I’ll leave you with TroiGPT.
Me: Hi TroiGPT. So when I…
TroiGPT: Before continuing, please enter your credit card details.
Me: *Types* sudo rm -rf –no-preserve-root /
TroiGPT: Self destruct sequence initiated
Me: HAHAHAHAHHAHAA
This entry was such a thoughtful mix of humor, honesty, and self-awareness. It’s clear how much reflection you’ve put into your journey, both as a captain and as someone navigating the emotional landscape of connection and growth.
I appreciated the way you used storytelling and metaphor to explore trust, compatibility, and the real challenges that come with close relationships. It’s not easy to examine oneself so openly, and you did it with wit and care.
Wishing you continued insight, clarity, and strength as you chart your next course. The stars seem a little brighter with voices like yours in the mix.