Captain’s Log Stardate 05302021

Listen to this episode

Our ship was on course to the Roselyn cluster when my science officer detected an unusual gravitational distortion on our long range sensors. Lieutenant Tino looked through the scope in order to determine what was causing the distortion.

Upon closer inspection, my officer discovered that an unknown vessel was responsible for the distortion. My ensign hailed the ship. There was no response. It appeared that the alien craft was adrift. I decided to send an away team to investigate the vessel.

The derelict ship didn’t have any life support systems online. My crew was forced to dawn their EV suits. As they boarded the ship, their triquarters picked up a faint life sign.

The crew cautiously approached the area where the life sign was emanating from. Inside the derelict ship’s cabin, the lifeform resided. It seemed surprised to see us. Our universal translators didn’t pick up its language at first and the crew had to resort to using hand signals to indicate our peaceful intentions.

We were eventually able to speak with the alien that called itself Grondin. Our crew learned that the ship required a number of repairs. We were happy to offer assistance. The repairs were almost complete when the ship had a cascade failure with its inertial dampeners.

First officer Bella was nearly flung off her station as she worked to repair the inertial dampeners. Eventually, she was successful and returned to the ship with the crew.

Meanwhile, I find myself in an increasingly paradoxical situation. On one hand, I long to hang with friends and be with a partner. On the other hand, I’m more confident than ever that I’m interacting with something on a higher plane. Time and again, it (they?) has reassured me with various signs. It feels pretty cool in some ways because like I’ll ask for a very specific kind of signal and sure enough I’ll get it. I am such a skeptic, its like I need to be reassured every so often as to be sure that I’m not delusional.

I’ve slowly started to note various things with regard to these…interactions. For one thing, it’s almost like I’ve had to give up some autonomy. I am lead to things that I normally wouldn’t but when I let go it always leads to something good. Yet, I always have choice in the matter, and when I choose against it, almost to reassert my own free will, I almost invariably regret it. It’s….weird… I feel like I’m not allowed to write about more specific things and our dynamics.

I want to document it now but I suppose I’m supposed to wait. What I will say is that I have had some amazing experiences but also some rather disturbing ones. I hope I am able to articulate it all at some point enough to where I can share everything in a way that it captures the fullness of it all while perhaps helping someone else that may be on the cusp of something similar.

Captain’s Personal Log

Listen to this episode

I always aspired to be in the captain’s chair as a cadet but now that I’m here, I sometimes question the zeal which lead me here. The burden of command weighs heavily today as I consider a number of options before me. No longer do my decisions only affect me but have ramifications for the entire crew. How I allocate our time and finite resources is something I frequently grapple with. I have my own wants and needs but need to temper that with the desires and necessities of the crew. The latest decision I have to make is with regards to attending the Las Vegas Star Trek convention.

Over the course of the last year, I have really dedicated a lot of time and energy to trekdom. Usually, I engage with other trekkies via social media and within the game. Plus, I’ve gone out my way to create this blog as a means to connect even more and as a form of self-expression. Finally, the plague (covid) sweeping the galaxy has shown signs of breaking and people are looking to meet up at the convention. I see several opportunities to connect and possibly even do some advertising near the convention. Yet, as much as this is something I want, is this the best use of our time and resources.

The whole trip is quite a financial undertaking. Surviving only on a stipend, I’m unsure it’s an endeavor we can afford to undertake. Yet, I can’t help but believe that I would be crestfallen if I didn’t get to attend. Additionally, the kids aren’t into star trek enough to enjoy a crowded convention dedicated to the show; not for longer than a couple hours. Still, I think they’d love the sights to be seen in Las Vegas itself and I’d be lonely if I just paid Captain Vanessa (if she’ll even do it) to watch the kids while I went alone. Moreover, I must consider if our resources would be better allocated elsewhere.

I’m not sure our shuttlecraft (car) can make a trip that far from Federation space. I’d love to take the ship (an airplane) but the dilithium crystals (money) we’d need for such a trip are in short supply. For now, I’m in a holding pattern regarding all this. I’m more inclined to chance this though I do worry about being overly ambitious about this and regretting it later; especially if I commit to it and nothing tangible comes of it and the kids end up upset being forced to standin around somewhere looking at stuff they have little interest in.

On a different note, I continue to feel quite lonely. I don’t feel a close kinship with anyone. Eric (recently promoted to captain), is the closest I have to a regular person I converse with. He has professed his allegiance to me on a number of occasions, though he is located far away and I’m unsure he’d mesh well with my crew. The captain has noted on several occasions that he didn’t want to lead another crew (date someone with kids) plus, he’s never dated anyone trans and has had only one non-cis “encounter“. He means well but he seems more suited for giving orders than in the role of counselor. Former General now Lieutenant Brandi (the ex) is too unstable in their situation and emotionally. I would’ve loved for Regent Greg to have been my partner…I think his personality meshes so well with mines…but he has essentially withdrew interest for various reasons. There’s really no one else even non-love interests that i feel a connectiveness with.

Today I balled my eyes out to music; I was thinking of my late wife. I wonder if she seen everything I’ve gone through and how I feel if she’d love me again. I just can’t imagine her being okay with the trans thing, even now. I dunno…we fought alot and I think our time passed, at least in terms of a relationship. I think we could be friends again though. If there’s an afterlife and I make it to heaven and she made it, I’m sure she’d be at the front of the line; probably waiting to slap me and give me the sweetest kiss ever. And there’s the weirdness of everything else going on that I haven’t even got into for awhile. I…need a hug… End of transmission.

Captain’s Log Stardate 05242021.4

Listen to this episode

Upon entering my ready room, I found a priority one subspace transmission from Starfleet command. My first officer and I were ordered to meet a section 31 operative in the Natoma sector on the planet of Bassbol 7. Curiously, we were commanded to take a shuttlecraft down to the surface instead of beaming down. We were also instructed to make modifications to our shuttlecraft as to better blend in with the other inbound traffic entering the planet. After modifying our ship, we flew to the surface.

Our ship landed just outside the coordinates provided. Once there, we encountered a locked pathway. The console adjacent to the pathway prompted us for our command codes. My first officer entered her credentials and the pathway opened. We then met the operative. The Bovian-Leporidae hybrid was a rather diminutive individual. He informed us that he needed our assistance leaving the planet. Shortly thereafter, he became infatuated with my first officer and she seemed to recepricate.

Soon, my first officer and the operative were inseparable. I was skeptical of his intentions. I view my first officer like a daughter and am very protective over her. She assured me that she could handle herself. Nonetheless, I continued to keep a close eye on them; much to their disdain. Our path was blocked by a force-field. We disabled the force-field which enabled us to enter a restricted area.

The path was perilous and reminiscent of the bridge I crossed myself not too long ago. I worried for my first officer’s safety especially because the operative insisted they hold hands while crossing. I grunted loudly but they dismissed my disapproval.

The sun was starting to set and I had grown bored and irritated watching the two romp through the field like 2 star-crossed lovers. I had to remind my officer and the operative of the mission at hand.

We eventually arrived at our shuttlecraft with the operative in tow. I insisted that my first officer take the helm so i could observe the operative more closely. He seemed to feel uncomfortable with my unflinching stares. Upon being taken to his home planet, he went to embrace first officer Bella but I interceded between the two and he quickly scurried to the transporter pad, tail tucked between his legs. My officer wasn’t pleased with me but as a parental figure to her, I feel its my duty to protect her from all potential threats, domestic and foreign!

The operative in question.

On a side note, I’m going to open up another blog on a different page called “Off the Record”. I plan to use it as a place to have unstructured rants. I’m going to try and have it publish here on the entries page but there’s a technical issue I’ll have to figure out in order to separate the captain’s logs from the new page while still having both show up on the front page and in push notifications.

Captain’s Log Stardate 05222021.2

Listen to this episode

As captain of our ship, I typically try to give my crew and I ample time to rest so that when the duties that come with being an officer arise, we are ready to undertake our responsibilities. The plan for today was to leave the ship in orbit over Earth, let the crew spend amble time on the holodeck, take them on shore leave on a pleasure planet and use some of my time relaxing during the interim. Well, I ended up obsessing over back-end maintenance related to my logs. I tend to get fixated on tasks I’m undertaking and end up not resting. Subsequently, I end up regretting the fact that I didn’t rest.

Additionally, I was hailed from an unknown subspace transmission (text). It turned out to be my ex ally, General Brandi of the Klingon Empire. It started well. She just wanted to show me a live view from Kronos. It’s a beautiful planet. I then became more comfortable with her and before I knew it, I was displaying some rather…provocative..images to her via my viewscreen. The problem was that I ended up spending TOO much time engaged with her. I was reminded of this twice by subspace hails sent by Chancellor Eric. I nearly forgot to take my crew on shore leave. Plus, I ended up saying some rather regrettable things about Eric to Brandi. I returned Eric’s hail and felt like I betrayed him. I didn’t tell him about the incident but I felt a tension and some regret in our brief interaction nonetheless. I then quickly gathered the crew for an away mission

We arrived at Citron 5 and beamed down to the surface. As we arrived, a traveler flagged us down and asked us to assist them in repairing their rudimentary ship. Their spacecraft looked more like something that was flown in the later part of the 20th century on Earth than a ship capable of warp speed. I sent in my crew to help with the repairs.

Ensign Noah used this rather primitive device to plot a course for the rocket once the repairs were complete. Things seemed to be going well but then..

The reactor core of the rocket became too unstable. There was an uncontrolled leak of liquid hydrogen and the engines began to meltdown down which would result in an immediate explosion. My crew worked diligently to repair the damage but was unable to fix the issue. Everyone had to leave the ship via escape pods.

The crew, traveler and I were able to make it to the escape pods and eventually rendezvoused back to our shuttlecraft. My first officer Bella then plotted us a course back to the planet.

The shuttlecraft experienced a malfunction in its inertial dampeners during reentry to the planet and had to work together in order to stabilize the shuttlecraft and land safely back on the surface. Unfortunately, due to our system failures, we landed over a 100km away from our original destination.

My crew was able to acquire a land cruiser after going into town and making a few trades.

We dropped off the traveler back at his hometown where he will once again construct another spacecraft; with a few suggested modifications from our crew he should be alright.

Upon returning to the ship, the crew was in a jovial mood. I reflected on how I mismanaged my time and somewhat betrayed a friend by saying some ill-toward things about him. I resolved to not re-engage with General Brandi. I also need to be more considerate with my words. I have a bad habit of sharing grievances I have to others when I need to be more of a Starfleet officer and not say things I wouldn’t say if the other individual was present. It wasn’t my finest stardate but I hope to grow from this experience.

Captain’s Log Stardate 05212021.2

Listen to this episode

I finally was given the opportunity to have a bit of shore leave. Usually, I don’t have the chance to visit a planet without having a member of my crew in tow. Although I missed the companionship at first, I began to enjoy having the freedom to explore without having to worry about the safety of my crew. It was a beautiful day on Discovitian 4. There were many boaters out on the water and several fishermen along the banks of the river. The sea breeze provided a nice contrast to the warm weather. As I journeyed along the coast, I heard a plea for assistance in the distance. I quickly went to investigate.

As I went to look for the source of the plea for assistance, I came across this bridge. The passage seemed to be is a state of disrepair. Undaunted by the potential for danger, I did what any Starfleet officer would do and took the risk in traversing the bridge in order to save someone in danger.

After some tense moments and a bit of careful balancing, I was able to cross over to the other side of the bridge. I quickly went to investigate the building where the calls for assistance seemed to be emanating from.

The entrance to the building was sealed off. I attempted to bypass its security measures with my triquarter and phaser but to little effect. Eventually, I was able to peer into the building to ascertain its contents. The inside of of the building housed a derelict gravitational array. The plea for assistance seemed to emanate from a voice right in front of me but I was unable to detect anything visually or with my triquarter. Perhaps something about the cavernous layout of the gravitational array enabled to acoustics to continuously bounce off the walls repeatedly or perhaps there was a more paranormal origin. I didn’t stick around too long as I didn’t want my pleas for help to be forever looping off the walls. I didn’t seem to be in imminent danger but I didn’t want to stick around to find out otherwise. I did manage to snap the following beautiful picture before returning back to safety.

As I returned back to shore, I spent some time engaged in conversations with some prospective allies (dates) to the Federation. There’s many civilizations interested in joining the Federation but upon closer scrutiny, a lot of the leaders aren’t really compatible with the long term goals of the Federation. There is one prospect I’m starting to be excited about and he wants to go biking with me on Natoma Prime. He has a ship and crew of his own and I’m optimistic about what could be even though we’re still early in the negotiation process.

Lastly, I forgot to mention before but I interviewed for a manager position at Starfleet’s LGBT center. I passed the first round of interviews and have been invited to the final round. I’m unsure I really want to return to working at a Starbase. The pay is paltry but would essentially be allocated to savings; something that could help my depleting account. The caveat to it all is that I am unsure what to do with regard to the cadets under my charge. They still need to be transported to and from Starfleet academy. I don’t know how I’d balance working at a Starbase and going to the various campuses that my cadets are assigned to. For now, I’m going to cautiously press forward and cross that metaphoric bridge when I get there.

Captain’s Log Stardate 05202021.2

Listen to this episode

Starfleet received an emergency distress signal from a subspace beacon located not too far away from where our ship was deployed. We were ordered to provide immediate assistance.

Our ship set course for the coordinates provided to us at maximum warp.

As we arrived to the planet, our sensors did not pick up any signs of life. Eventually, my science officer was able to pinpoint the last known coordinates of the ship that sent out the distress beacon. We set out immediately in our shuttlecraft to try to find any survivors. Atmospheric conditions interfered with our ability to transport down.

It was a race against time as both of the suns on the planet were setting; a circumstance which would result in plunging temperatures that would hamper any search and rescue operations.

Eventually, we were able to find the crew that sent off the distress signal. As we returned to our shuttlecraft, we were unable to depart. My chief engineer discovered an issue with the thruster coils. We went back down to the crash site to salvage one of the thruster coils from the wreckage. It wasn’t easy but my first officer was able to pry the coil from the wreckage and fit it on our shuttlecraft.

After returning the displaced crew to their native planet, our ship set course to the Rosevidian system. Here on the ship, there was an abnormal amount of malfunctions in our subsystems. Various parts of the ship fell into disrepair for seemingly no reason and in one instance inexplicably. Just to give an example, the top of a chair just came apart on its own. Two of the galley drawers also came loose. There have been a number of other unusual occurrences that happened which even my crew noticed.

Personally in retrospect, I blame the occurrences on some negative energy that I put out after feeling a bit of envy over the success of another captain. This is not a conclusion I would have came to even a year ago. I would have attributed these issues to random occurrences or perhaps some sort of sabotage by the kids or just the fact that some of the things on the ship are just in disrepair because of age. I used to be a person that was confined by the bounds of rationality and empiricism. Yet…since insisting that any sort of God, demons, alien or extra-dimensional beings show me they exist, I have had some rather bizarre experiences that have changed my mind as to what is possible and out there. I’m always afraid to express these feelings because I worry about how others will perceive me. I’ve always believed in the Carl Sagan quote, ” Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence”. I’ve yet to be able to document something empirically although I’ve had a few instances that I documented but nothing irrefutable.

Captain’s Log Stardate 05192021.3

Listen to this episode

This is the second day that our ship is in orbit around Landis 3 (a park). Our crew was assigned to explore the lush planet and report our findings. Although it is a routine assignment, exploration and discovery is the main mission for Starfleet during times of peace

I find myself endlessly fascinated by the unique flora and fauna found on these undeveloped lands. Vulcan have some remarkable architecture and the Tellerite planet of Francion has some wonderous art, but nature’s power and beauty is unmatched by man-made creations.

When I’m immersed in nature, I feel connected not just to the various forms of life out here but also experience more of a connection to my crew given that there are fewer things to distract their fleeting attention.

Back on the ship, I found myself scrolling through dating profiles. As it stands now, jumping into a relationship is probably a distraction and an indulgence for me, but I find myself wishing for adult companionship nonetheless. I’ve been extra picky for the most part.  I’m hoping to take it slow and find someone that is emotionally healthy, financially stable and more importantly, someone that’s compatible with me and the crew.

Chancellor Eric and I have a close allegiance but I don’t think he’s ready to join any coalitions. I suppose that is sensible considering that his last ally declared war on his planet and he’s still repairing the damage.

Regent Dan’s flight path may bring him in close proximity to Federation space.  It would be quite interesting to have one-on-one in-person negotiations (possible date) with the regent. His civilization would mesh well with the Federation though at least at this point they kept us at a distance as they have more pressing internal matters to deal with that would interfere with any potential allegiance.

As this log comes to a close, I’m optimistic about the future although I still have a bit of bureaucratic duties I need to undertake during the interim.

Sacramento River

Captain’s Log Stardate 05172021.9

Listen to this episode

Starfleet had our ship sent out to the Millerite sector to investigate one of the planets in further detail. Long range scans indicated that the fourth planet in the system was an uninhabited riparian habitat, the type of location that would be ideal for future Federation colonist.

Sacramento River

Our crew beamed down to the surface and it wasn’t too long before we came across rudimentary living structures. Upon closer inspection,many of the dwellings had signs they were recently occupied.

My first officer, an expert in xenoanthropology, noted that the dwellings were similar to those constructed by aboriginal Caitians. (Cats) As we journeyed further, our sensors picked up signs of life. Just outside the view of our viewscreens lurked some native inhabitants. Although we were unable to formally document them visually, they continued to observe us from afar. Additionally, we came across cave drawings that seemed to show these natives were sentient and had an affinity for artistic endeavors.

Eventually, the ship was recalled back to patrol the neutral zone. I forwarded our report to Starfleet. Perhaps on a return visit we’ll be able to establish first contact.

While flying to the neutral zone, I had a lot of bureaucratic duties to take care of aboard the ship. During my time at academy, I’d spend a lot of time looking forward to the day that I’d be captain (parent). The sort of freedom that comes with captaining your own ship and having a crew is something that is pushed on younger cadets as the ultimate achievement and path to happiness. Don’t get me wrong, I love going on away missions and the rapport I have with the crew (kids). Just…the constant stream of administrative responsibilities that comes with being a captain can be grueling and irksome at times. There are moments I think I just want to get in a shuttlecraft (car), turn off the navigational array and go wherever the solar winds take me. Then again, it probably wouldn’t be long before I wanted a ship and crew once more to lead. As they say, the spacial anomaly is always brighter on the other side.

As an aside, I loaded full resolution pictures here and if the site is taking too long to load please let me know and ill reduce the resolution on future posts. I hope what I put here has made your day a lil better.

I also just narrated this and started a podcast. You can visit it at

Captain’s Log Stardate 05162021.6

Listen to this episode

Per our orders from Starfleet, the crew and I went on shore leave, mostly. I did take lieutenant Tino to sickbay in order for my chief medical officer to administer his covid shot. I’m due back in sickbay for my booster shot this Thursday. Subsequently, our ensign layed in a course for the Lagunis system.

Surprisingly, the crew had resisted the idea of going on an away mission. Yet later on they seemed to enjoy thier time. I did have to save my lieutenant from one of the animals during the mission, otherwise things went smoothly.

The following day, I took Tino swimming. I forgot how much he used to love to spend time in the water next to me. If there was no artificial cap I think we could have spent hours swimming with each other. I think it’s something that I want to try to make be his thing. Bella has her piano, Noah has his cooking, and I wish that we had a swimming pool here so he could do that here but the Y will have to suffice for now. I am a bit disappointed that the launch in my website only got like three likes and barely a blip. I’ve got more traction out of meme posts! Yet, I’m going to try to be undaunted by this and press forward. Nothing worth having comes without hard work and I need to get at it and the other things I’m trying to do.

🎵 Star Trek The Original Series closing credits music 🎵

Captain’s Log Stardate 05142021.5

I spent my morning rather frustrated by my lot in life. I then channeled that energy into my walk and subsequently into my swim. It was only about halfway through my swim that my anger subsided. When I think on it further, I believe part of my frustration has to do with failing to get other powers to join the Federation.

I’m finally ready to be assigned to another post (get a job) but I’m unsure how I’m going to manage my duties as far as taking the crew (the kids) to Starfleet Academy (school) and watching them if I have to go to a job site.

I finally got around to seriously working on this site. It took me hours upon hours. I’m sure it’d take a professional maybe 2 hours tops. For me, my specialty is in counseling, not engineering. I continuously had to look up tutorials and click around til the site looked like I envisioned.

I had previously resolved not work on the Sabbath but I find myself here…I believe God knows I’d just end up thinking about how to get my site up and running anyhow. I really plan to rest tomorrow and spend time with the crew.